Cool Things You Can Buy On The Internet Part 2, Or Why I'm On MI5's Watch List

It's a well known fact that the 'adult entertainment' industry is the reason why VHS beat out Betamax and why Blu Ray beat HD DVD and if my recent attempts to buy materials for Pandamonium are anything to go by, it looks like it could take over all of e-commerce. First ebay, then the world...


All I wanted was a skintight suit on which to build the rest of the bear costume. That's all. Why oh why, ebay, must you torment me?

Go on, search 'spandex suit' and see what comes up.

Apparently, apparently, there's quite a market out there for, well... you've seen American Horror Story right?

Well, people want that, on a budget. They don't want to pay for leather or PVC and so poor, innocent, impressionable people like me have to be subjected to reading the word 'gimp' hundreds and hundreds of times. Here's an excerpt taken from a typical item listing:

'2.Add male crotch zipper,You will have to pay extra US$5
(http://www.ebay.com/itm/Hood-Mask-feets-hands-gloves-separate-add-zip-penis-lots-of-Option-for-Zentai-/151004629605?pt=US_Costume_Accessories&var=&hash=item232893ca65)'

Anyway, if MI5 have been watching my ebay transaction history then they can only assume that between everything I've bought for Pandamonium, that I must be planning one hell of a party.

I suppose that most people would consider what we actually did with the suit weirder than what they're sold for. We made a lifesize model of the actor who is going to play Isabella by stuffing the suit with foam. Now we have this:

This suit has scared more people in M Block than the one in American Horror Story. My aim is to give someone a heart attack before the semester is over. Full scale bone construction starts tomorrow.


You can get a credit on the film, a DVD, a t shirt, exclusive artwork and even the completed panda costume by donating to Pandamonium. So what are you waiting for? Donate now and be part of a project to remember!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/499149634/pandamonium-short-film

Cool Things You Can Buy On The Internet Part 1 - Melting Plastic

Everyone likes melting stuff. This is fact. If there was a job that just involved melting things then people would kill to get it. Currently my job is melting plastic, I eagerly await the assassination attempts...

3,500 years ago, a waffle-shaped legend was born

Deep in the heart of the Mojave desert a legend was born. Now that legend sells waffles to alarmed students...

OH MY GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE: Making bear organs and finding silicone in unexpected places

Delicious. Elegant. Blood-covered.

These are all accurate descriptions of the noble grizzly bear's organs. I have the messy yet surprisingly tasty job of recreating these so that we may show them on film without needing to remove them from a bear first.

I already tried that, the bear was not very cooperative. I tried reasoning with her but she simply refused to let me climb inside of her and harvest her organs; she wouldn't even let me take a kidney!

Bear fur: fluffy, huggable and surprisingly expensive

Bears are one of very few animals who are famous for their hugs. That's how adorable they are.

Their fur is just one of the things that makes bears so adorable but as I was to learn, replicating that comes at a price. About £40 per metre, to be exact...

Isabella The Grizzly Bear

Everybody loves bears in the general sense but one man loves one very special bear.

Dr Grizzly, 'Pandamonium's' villain, loves his own grizzly bear. No one is quite sure how he and Isabella ended up together but what is clear is just how strong their bond is. This bond will be immortalized on (figurative/digital) celluloid and everyone world over will know the story of the love between a man, his bear and the pandas that came between them.

So who is this majestic creature, I hear you ask? She graciously allowed her unfathomable beauty to be captured eternally in pictorial form:

Foam, foam, so much foam

In addition to bears, there's another thing that everybody loves.

Foam.

I'm foaming at the mouth for foam. My love for foam is so enormous that I engineered this project specifically to involve as much foam as possible. Did you know you can buy bales of foam on ebay? I didn't. Oh how my life has changed. Everyone should experience at least one bale of foam before they die.

 The arrival of the foam was an emotional moment.

Wall-E 2: Foam Boogaloo

Although spectacular, even that wasn't enough to quell my insatiable appetite for foam. I needed something bigger, better.... harder.

Enter styrofoam!

That's 600,000 cubic centimeters of styrofoam right there. Now if only I can bear (sorry) to cut it up and make it ursine-shaped.